My boyfriend and I were in a toxic relationship because we both did not know how to set boundaries properly. A few months back, we had our biggest fight ever and he did bad things to me and so did I. However, I acted out of anger and told multiple friends and his parents about all the wrongs he did to me. Currently, we both acknowledge where 2 of us were wrong but my actions of bad-mouthing him (I did not slander him – it was all facts of the bad things that were done) have caused a lot of damage to my relationship with his parents. How can I make her understand that I acknowledge my mistakes and that his son and I both want to grow together. She insists my bf leaves me every day because she is scared that I will hurt her children but that is not true. I just said bad things when I was emotional.
Relationship advice
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Please focus yourself and others on IkOnkar SatGur Parsad, IkOnkar Humanity and IkOnkar Hukam, saying that and listening to yourself and others, bringing and learning and sharing, in your discussions with all impacting IkOnkar Humanity people, boy friend and family and friends, understand and discuss IkOnkar SatGur Parsad and IkOnkar Hukam, whatever you say and will say is according to IkOnkar Hukam, all emotions, all feelings, are coming from IkOnkar Hukam, say that to yourself and others. Somehow and someway, keep saying while smiling, IkOnkar SatGur Parsad, IkOnkar Humanity and IkOnkar Hukam.
I am not perfect Only IkOnkar is perfect so I will always connect with IkOnkar and no one else, please say that to yourself and others. IkOnkar is Master Soul and your soul and others souls, will connect to Master Soul IkOnkar, say it, understand it, discuss it, do whatever, that’s IT.
Respected Brother/Sister,
Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh!
In response to your long question, in which you talk about your toxic relationship and about crossing the boundaries. Without saying anything about other issues, the undersigned just wants you to read the Salok of Fifth Guru Person Guru Arjan Sahib at Panna 1358 of Guru Granth Sahib and its meanings.
You will see that Guru Sahib is teaching us the consequences of lust and to what extent one can fall. Guru Sahib guides us to maintain high character by joining the Sadh Sangat and by taking refuge of Akalpurakh.
Hope it helps you to improve your relationship. If you have any further questions please do ask. If you find any deficiencies please point out the same for improvement in future.
Regards,
Your Brother
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ਹੇ ਕਾਮੰ ਨਰਕ ਬਿਸ੍ਰਾਮੰ ਬਹੁ ਜੋਨੀ ਭ੍ਰਮਾਵਣਹ ॥ ਚਿਤ ਹਰਣੰ ਤ੍ਰੈ ਲੋਕ ਗੰਮ੍ਯ੍ਯੰ ਜਪ ਤਪ ਸੀਲ ਬਿਦਾਰਣਹ ॥ ਅਲਪ ਸੁਖ ਅਵਿਤ ਚੰਚਲ ਊਚ ਨੀਚ ਸਮਾਵਣਹ ॥ ਤਵ ਭੈ ਬਿਮੁੰਚਿਤ ਸਾਧ ਸੰਗਮ ਓਟ ਨਾਨਕ ਨਾਰਾਇਣਹ ॥੪੬॥ {ਪੰਨਾ 1358}
ਅਰਥ: ਹੇ ਕਾਮ! ਤੂੰ (ਜੀਵਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਆਪਣੇ ਵੱਸ ਵਿਚ ਕਰ ਕੇ) ਨਰਕ ਵਿਚ ਅਪੜਾਣ ਵਾਲਾ ਹੈਂ ਅਤੇ ਕਈ ਜੂਨਾਂ ਵਿਚ ਭਟਕਾਣ ਵਾਲਾ ਹੈਂ।
ਤੂੰ ਜੀਵਾਂ ਦੇ ਮਨ ਭਰਮਾ ਲੈਂਦਾ ਹੈਂ, ਤਿੰਨਾਂ ਹੀ ਲੋਕਾਂ ਵਿਚ ਤੇਰੀ ਪਹੁੰਚ ਹੈ, ਤੂੰ ਜੀਵਾਂ ਦੇ ਜਪ ਤਪ ਤੇ ਸੁੱਧ ਆਚਰਨ ਨਾਸ ਕਰ ਦੇਂਦਾ ਹੈਂ।
ਹੇ ਚੰਚਲ ਕਾਮ! ਤੂੰ ਸੁਖ ਤਾਂ ਥੋੜਾ ਹੀ ਦੇਂਦਾ ਹੈਂ, ਪਰ ਇਸੇ ਨਾਲ ਤੂੰ ਜੀਵਾਂ ਨੂੰ (ਸੁੱਧ ਆਚਰਨ ਦੇ) ਧਨ ਤੋਂ ਸੱਖਣਾ ਕਰ ਦੇਂਦਾ ਹੈਂ। ਜੀਵ ਉੱਚੇ ਹੋਣ, ਨੀਵੇਂ ਹੋਣ, ਸਭਨਾਂ ਵਿਚ ਤੂੰ ਪਹੁੰਚ ਜਾਂਦਾ ਹੈਂ।
ਸਾਧ ਸੰਗਤਿ ਵਿਚ ਪਹੁੰਚਿਆਂ ਤੇਰੇ ਡਰ ਤੋਂ ਖ਼ਲਾਸੀ ਮਿਲਦੀ ਹੈ। ਹੇ ਨਾਨਕ! (ਸਾਧ ਸੰਗ ਵਿਚ ਜਾ ਕੇ) ਪ੍ਰਭੂ ਦੀ ਸਰਨ ਲੈ। 46।
ਭਾਵ: ਮਨੁੱਖ ਉੱਚੀ ਜਾਤਿ ਦੇ ਹੋਣ ਚਾਹੇ ਨੀਵੀਂ ਜਾਤਿ ਦੇ, ਕਾਮਦੇਵ ਸਭਨਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਆਪਣੇ ਕਾਬੂ ਵਿਚ ਕਰ ਲੈਂਦਾ ਹੈ। ਇਸ ਦੀ ਮਾਰ ਤੋਂ ਉਹੀ ਬਚਦਾ ਹੈ ਜੋ ਸਾਧ ਸੰਗਤਿ ਵਿਚ ਟਿਕ ਕੇ ਪਰਮਾਤਮਾ ਦਾ ਆਸਰਾ ਲੈਂਦਾ ਹੈ।