I am a Hindu (26, Female) who was in a relationship for 7 years with a Sikh amritdhari (27, male)…
A few months back he called things of as we never connected emotionally and spiritually (according to him) ( he met a girl online who does understand and connects too a few days before calling things off)
I am broken to my core as this was the only relationship I ever had and was very serious ( as he made promises about providing me the respect, care and love I deserve after our marriage) ( only after so much assurance I took this relationship to physical intimacy, which to this day is a huge deal for me)
He says he doesn’t want to leave me all alone ( but I this shock was needed for me to grow and learn ), whenever I talk about relationship he quotes gurbani or things of that nature, or his family who is not in my favour ( I have vitiligo and bcoz of my religion) and the feelings of the other girl..
I am tormented ( mentally, physically and emotionally I have suffered, and both the girl and my partner knows that, but they say I weak that’s why all of this is happening)
I need help on what to do, how to convince him as for me I have given everything to this person and cannot think about any other (feels like cheating to a new person ).
It’s been 6-7 months, every single day I cry myself to sleep…
This is not to question anything or belittle anything or anyone, it’s my genuine query and appeal
Please my brothers and sisters help and guide me 🙏
Respected Sister,
Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh!
Sorry to know about what you are going through but you should have taken care, while getting into a physical relationship. In any case, what is done can’t be undone.
In Guru Granth Sahib, the Fifth Guru Person, Guru Arjun Sahib is guiding us to look forward (not backward) and make efforts to take your life to greater heights and win the game of life instead of losing it.
Therefore, you have to become mentally very strong, take steps to move forward and rebuild your life and take it to greater heights and make your valuable life a success.
Gurbani teaches a person to get rid of vices, become virtuous and be one with Akalpurakh and Shabad Guru, who are embodiment of each other and reach the stage of spiritual equipoise and spiritual bliss so as to achieve the final goal of achieving emancipation/salvation in this life itself because Sikhism doesn’t subscribe to the theory of emancipation/salvation after death.
Hope it helps. If you have any further questions please do ask. If you find any deficiencies, please point out the same, for improvement in future.
Regards,
Your Brother
——————
ਡਖਣੇ ਮਃ ੫ ॥ ਆਗਾਹਾ ਕੂ ਤ੍ਰਾਘਿ ਪਿਛਾ ਫੇਰਿ ਨ ਮੁਹਡੜਾ ॥ ਨਾਨਕ ਸਿਝਿ ਇਵੇਹਾ ਵਾਰ ਬਹੁੜਿ ਨ ਹੋਵੀ ਜਨਮੜਾ ॥੧॥ {ਪੰਨਾ 1096}
ਅਰਥ: (ਹੇ ਭਾਈ!) ਅਗਾਂਹ ਵਧਣ ਲਈ ਤਾਂਘ ਕਰ, ਪਿਛਾਂਹ ਨੂੰ ਮੋਢਾ ਨ ਮੋੜ (ਜੀਵਨ ਨੂੰ ਹੋਰ ਹੋਰ ਉੱਚਾ ਬਣਾਣ ਲਈ ਉੱਦਮ ਕਰ, ਨੀਵਾਂ ਨ ਹੋਣ ਦੇ) । ਹੇ ਨਾਨਕ! ਇਸੇ ਜਨਮ ਵਿਚ ਕਾਮਯਾਬ ਹੋ (ਜੀਵਨ-ਖੇਡ ਜਿੱਤ) ਤਾਕਿ ਮੁੜ ਜਨਮ ਨਾਹ ਲੈਣਾ ਪਏ।1।
Vire
Kudi de trust te ijat sab kuj chad dave???
Us munde di koi responsibility ni na hi galti??
Navi ji,
As per the following teachings of Guru Sahiban, sooner or later, the boy will pay the price of what he has done:-
ਆਪੇ ਬੀਜਿ ਆਪੇ ਹੀ ਖਾਹੁ ॥ ਨਾਨਕ ਹੁਕਮੀ ਆਵਹੁ ਜਾਹੁ ॥੨੦॥ (ਪੰਨਾ 4)
ਜੇਹਾ ਬੀਜੈ ਸੋ ਲੁਣੈ ਕਰਮਾ ਸੰਦੜਾ ਖੇਤੁ ॥ (ਪੰਨਾ 134)
ਦਦੈ ਦੋਸੁ ਨ ਦੇਊ ਕਿਸੈ ਦੋਸੁ ਕਰੰਮਾ ਆਪਣਿਆ ॥ ਜੋ ਮੈ ਕੀਆ ਸੋ ਮੈ ਪਾਇਆ ਦੋਸੁ ਨ ਦੀਜੈ ਅਵਰ ਜਨਾ ॥੨੧॥ {ਪੰਨਾ 433}
Perhaps, nothing more can be done at this point of time. As per teachings of Guru Granth Sahib, the girl should become strong enough and rebuild her valuable life to make it a success, instead of continuing to brood on what has already passed.