The Guru told sikhs to socially distance themselves from hair-cutters.
Does this apply to children also?
actually I told my daughter so if she does this then our relationship will break..I said so as she does not think of doing so..but now she is more on this thought of wrong doing with her hair..though she has not done anything yet..
please advise.
Respected Brother,
Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh!
In response to your question, the undersigned wants to say that, as understood by the undersigned, a Sikh is a Seeker of Truth and is a student. By imbibing the teachings of Guru Granth Sahib, he has to become a Khalsa i.e. Akalpurakh’s own. Perhaps, you may be aware that Khalsa is a Persian word, which means King’s own land.
Please read two Pangtis of Shabad of Fifth Guru Person Guru Arjun Sahib in Raag Maru, which is located at Panna 1083-84 of Guru Granth Sahib. In this Guru Sahib is teaching us that one is not to disturb the saroop given by Akalpurakh to us. Rather, keeping it as it is, is a way to get respect.
Now, the person who cuts hair and shaves beard, has not imbibed the teachings of Guru Granth Sahib and has failed as a student. Therefore, can he/she be called a Sikh? In undersigned’s opinion the answer is no.
Further, he/she will keep on fighting with Akalpurakh also, in his/her entire life. By doing so, can he/she become Akalpurakh’s own i.e. a Khalsa? So, he/she will be neither here nor there. Please think about it.
Therefore, as understood by the undersigned, a Sikh has to maintain both Sikhi Saroop, as also Character, so that the onlookers can see Guru in him/her.
As regards the situation in which you are in, you have to be very patient and cool but firm on your resolve so that your daughter maintains Sikhi Saroop. When your daughter sees your resolve, she will finally give in. May Akalpurakh bless you with Chardi Kala, to enable you to achieve your resolve! This is our Ardas to Him!
I hope it helps. If you have any further questions please do ask. If you find any deficiencies please point out the same for improvement in the future.
Regards,
Your Brother
——————————
ਨਾਪਾਕ ਪਾਕੁ ਕਰਿ ਹਦੂਰਿ ਹਦੀਸਾ, ਸਾਬਤ ਸੂਰਤਿ ਦਸਤਾਰ ਸਿਰਾ।।੧੨॥ {ਪੰਨਾ 1084}
ਪਦ ਅਰਥ: ਸਾਬਤ ਸੂਰਤਿ = (ਸੁੰਨਤਿ, ਲਬਾਂ ਕੱਟਣ ਆਦਿਕ ਦੀ ਸ਼ਰਹ ਨਾਹ ਕਰ ਕੇ) ਸਰੀਰ ਨੂੰ ਜਿਉਂ ਕਾ ਤਿਉਂ ਰੱਖਣਾ। ਦਸਤਾਰ ਸਿਰਾ = ਸਿਰ ਉਤੇ ਦਸਤਾਰ (ਦਾ ਕਾਰਨ ਬਣਦੀ ਹੈ) , ਇੱਜ਼ਤ-ਆਦਰ ਦਾ ਵਸੀਲਾ ਹੈ।12।
ਅਰਥ: (ਸੁੰਨਤਿ, ਲਬਾਂ ਕਟਾਣ ਆਦਿਕ ਸ਼ਰਹ ਨੂੰ ਛੱਡ ਕੇ) ਆਪਣੀ ਸ਼ਕਲ ਨੂੰ ਜਿਉਂ ਕਾ ਤਿਉਂ ਰੱਖ = ਇਹ (ਲੋਕ ਪਰਲੋਕ ਵਿਚ) ਇੱਜ਼ਤ-ਆਦਰ ਪ੍ਰਾਪਤ ਕਰਨ ਦਾ ਵਸੀਲਾ ਬਣ ਜਾਂਦਾ ਹੈ।12
ਭਾਈ ਤਾਰੂ ਸਿੰਘ ਜੀ ਦੀ ਸ਼ਹਾਦਤ ਨੂੰ ਸਿਜਦਾ…
ਸ਼ਹੀਦ ਭਾਈ ਤਾਰੂ ਸਿੰਘ ਜੀ ਦੇ ਬਾਰੇ ਸੁਣ-ਪੜ੍ਹ ਕੇ ਮਸ਼ਹੂਰ ਸਾਹਿਤਕਾਰ ਰਾਬਿੰਦਰ ਨਾਥ ਟੈਗੋਰ ਨੇ ਬੰਗਾਲੀ ਭਾਸ਼ਾ ਵਿੱਚ ਇੱਕ ਕਵਿਤਾ 1899 ਵਿੱਚ ਲਿਖੀ ਸੀ, ਜਿਸਦਾ ਨਾਮ Prarthanatit Dan (Gift beyond That begged) ਹੈ, ਇਹ ਕਵਿਤਾ ਉਹਨਾਂ ਦੀ ਕਿਤਾਬ ‘ਕਥਾ’ ਵਿੱਚ ਦਰਜ ਹੈ ਜਿਸਦਾ ਅੰਗਰੇਜ਼ੀ ਅਨੁਵਾਦ ਇਸ ਤਰ੍ਹਾਂ ਹੈ-
When the Pathans brought them chained
All in calm they remained
The captive Sikhs – though at Sahidgunj town
With their comrades’ blood the soil was brown.
Says the Nawab, “Look Taru Singh –
I want to forgive you without misgiving.”
Says Taru, “Why for me so much slight?”
Nawab says, “A great warrior you are
That you proved in your fight;
So, to you I bear no anger;
Only I beg of you the gift of your Beni*
And you will be spared harm any.”
Taru replied, “I owe you as your mercy’s nominee;
So offer a bit more, my head with my Beni*
* Note by Tagore: “To shave off Beni is as good as forsaking religion for a Sikh”. “Beni” in Bengali means the coiled hair the Sikhs keep.
ਮੈਂ ਤੇਰੇ ਤੋਂ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੇਸ ਤੋਹਫ਼ੇ ‘ਚ ਮੰਗਦਾ ਹਾਂ।
ਭਾਈ ਤਾਰੂ ਸਿੰਘ ਬੋਲਿਆ,”ਕੇਸ ਕਿਉਂ ਤੁਹਾਨੂੰ ਮੈਂ ਆਪਣੀ ਕੇਸਾਂ ਸਣੇ ਪੂਰੀ ਖੋਪੜੀ ਹੀ ਦਿੰਦਾ ਹਾਂ।”
ਕਹਿੰਦੇ ਹਨ ਕਿ ਭਾਈ ਤਾਰੂ ਸਿੰਘ ਜੀ ਦੀ ਸ਼ਹਾਦਤ ਬਾਰੇ ਪੜ੍ਹਨ-ਸੁਣਨ-ਲਿਖਣ ਮਗਰੋੰ ਟੈਗੋਰ ਨੇ ਆਪਣੇ ਕੇਸ ਨਹੀਂ ਕੱਟੇ ਸਨ।
she will not do anything till 18 years of age. and she wants to get independent asap and leave and do everything she wants. she thinks if she has to be abaondoned in future then why should she keep relationship with me(mother)..
Either I can tell her to decide on her own for her hair in future and take full responsibility of it..and make peace with her now so that she does not take any wrong decision now..as this is very vulnerable age..and if waheguru wants then she might change her decision as well..else I will have to accept as waheguru’s will.
or if I keep fixed on my point then she thinks she will be abondoned by me someday and does not want me to be around..
I am a single mother, separated from husband due to domestic violence. i had posted earlier as well for the same.
Bhen ji, the undersigned is of the opinion that don’t think of ever abandoing your daughter and give her all your love and affection. She should never get a hint that you are going to abandon her. Please read the following teaching of Guru Granth Sahib:
ਜੈਸਾ ਬਾਲਕੁ ਭਾਇ ਸੁਭਾਈ ਲਖ ਅਪਰਾਧ ਕਮਾਵੈ ॥ ਕਰਿ ਉਪਦੇਸੁ ਝਿੜਕੇ ਬਹੁ ਭਾਤੀ ਬਹੁੜਿ ਪਿਤਾ ਗਲਿ ਲਾਵੈ ॥ ਪਿਛਲੇ ਅਉਗੁਣ ਬਖਸਿ ਲਏ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਆਗੈ ਮਾਰਗਿ ਪਾਵੈ ॥੨॥ (ਪੰਨਾ 624) ਅਰਥਾਤ: ਹੇ ਭਾਈ! ਜਿਵੇਂ ਕੋਈ ਬੱਚਾ ਆਪਣੀ ਲਗਨ ਅਨੁਸਾਰ ਸੁਭਾਵ ਅਨੁਸਾਰ ਲੱਖਾਂ ਗ਼ਲਤੀਆਂ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈ, ਉਸ ਦਾ ਪਿਉ ਉਸ ਨੂੰ ਸਿੱਖਿਆ ਦੇ ਦੇ ਕੇ ਕਈ ਤਰੀਕਿਆਂ ਨਾਲ ਝਿੜਕਦਾ ਭੀ ਹੈ, ਪਰ ਫਿਰ ਆਪਣੇ ਗਲ ਨਾਲ (ਉਸ ਨੂੰ) ਲਾ ਲੈਂਦਾ ਹੈ, ਇਸੇ ਤਰ੍ਹਾਂ ਪ੍ਰਭੂ-ਪਿਤਾ ਭੀ ਜੀਵਾਂ ਦੇ ਪਿਛਲੇ ਗੁਨਾਹ ਬਖ਼ਸ਼ ਲੈਂਦਾ ਹੈ, ਤੇ ਅਗਾਂਹ ਵਾਸਤੇ (ਜੀਵਨ ਦੇ) ਠੀਕ ਰਸਤੇ ਉਤੇ ਪਾ ਦੇਂਦਾ ਹੈ।੧।
Please act on the advice of Guru Sahib and hope for the best! May Akalpurakh bless you both!
Regards,
Your brother