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Home/ Questions/Q 17179
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Asked: October 2, 20212021-10-02T20:06:43+00:00 2021-10-02T20:06:43+00:00In: Knowledge

KARWACHAUTH

Anonymous
Anonymous

Im a Sikh woman who got married into a Hindu/Panjabi family.
In my house none of the women celebrated karwachauth.
Now im in my in laws house my mother in law has said all the women must take part in the karwachauth fast and celebration later this month.
How do I respectfully decline.
Please share something from Holy scriptures so I can respectfully share with my in laws.
I believe this way I won’t hurt anyone’s feelings.
Thank you.

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    1. mandeepkaur
      mandeepkaur Scholar
      2021-10-02T22:04:20+00:00Added an answer on October 2, 2021 at 10:04 pm

      Respected Bhainji
      ਤੁਸੀਂ ਬਹੁਤ ਹੀ ਵਧੀਆ ਸੁਆਲ ਕੀਤਾ ਹੈ ਇਥੇ ਮੈਂ ਆਪ ਜੀ ਨੂੰ ਇਹ ਦੱਸ ਦੇਵਾਂ ਕਿ ਇਹ ਮਨੂੰ ਸਿਮ੍ਰਤੀ ਵਿੱਚ ਲਿਖਿਆ ਹੈ ਕਿ “ਬਚਪਨ ਵਿੱਚ ਲੜਕੀ ਪਿਤਾ ਦੀ ਤਾਬੇਦਾਰ ਰਹੇ ਵੱਡੀ ਹੋਕੇ ਭਰਾਵਾਂ ਦੀ ਨਿਗਰਾਨੀ ਵਿੱਚ ਅਤੇ ਵਿਆਹ ਤੋਂ ਬਾਅਦ ਪਤੀ ਦੇ ਅਧੀਨ ਰਹੇ ਜਦੋਂ ਪੁੱਤਰ ਜੁਆਨ ਹੋ ਜਾਣ ਤਾਂ ਪੁੱਤਰਾਂ ਦੇ ਕਹਿਣੇ ਵਿੱਚ ਰਹੇ।ਔਰਤ ਨੂੰ ਗੁਲਾਮ ਬਣਾਕੇ ਰਖੋ।ਇਸ ਵਿਚੋਂ ਹੀ ਕਰਵਾ ਚੌਥ ਦਾ ਵਰਤ ਆਇਆ ਹੈ।ਪਰ ਅਸੀਂ ਗੁਰਬਾਣੀ ਤੋਂ ਸਮਝੀਏ:
      ਛੋਡਹਿ ਅੰਨ ਕਰਹਿ ਪਾਖੰਡ ।। ਨਾ ਸੋਹਾਗਨਿ ਨਾ ਉਹਿ ਰੰਡ।।…..
      ਅੰਨੈ ਬਿਨਾ ਨ ਹੋਇ ਸੁਕਾਲੁ।।ਤਜਿਐ ਅੰਨ ਨ ਮਿਲੈ ਗੁਪਾਲ।।(873)
      ਅੰਨ ਛੱਡਣਾ, ਵਰਤ ਰੱਖਣੇ ਮੂਰਖਤਾ ਤੋਂ ਸਿਵਾਏ ਕੁੱਝ ਵੀ ਨਹੀਂ ਹੈ।ਵਰਤ ਰੱਖਕੇ ਕਦੀ ਪਤੀ ਦੀ ਉਮਰ ਲੰਮੀ ਨਹੀਂ ਹੁੰਦੀ ਸਗੋਂ ਪਤੀ ਨਾਲ ਹਰ ਚੰਗੇ ਕੰਮ ਵਿੱਚ ਸਾਥ ਦੇਣਾ ਘਰ ਦੀਆਂ ਜਿੰਮੇਵਾਰੀਆਂ ਬਾਖੂਬੀ ਨਿਭਾਉਣੀਆਂ ਇਹੋ ਹੀ ਅਸਲੀ ਪਿਆਰ ਹੈ ਨਾ ਕਿ ਵਰਤ ਰੱਖਕੇ ਪਤੀ ਨੂੰ ਕਹਿਣਾ ਕਿ ਮੈਂ ਤੁਹਾਡੇ ਪਿਆਰ ਲਈ ਵਰਤ ਰੱਖਿਆ ਹੈ।ਜੇ ਵਰਤ ਰੱਖਣਾ ਹੀ ਹੈ ਤਾਂ ਦੋਵੇਂ ਪਤੀ ਪਤਨੀ ਗੁਰਬਾਣੀ ਵਿੱਚ ਦੱਸਿਆ ਇਹ ਵਰਤ ਰਖੋ
      ਸਚੁ ਵਰਤ ਸੰਤੋਖ ਤੀਰਥੁ ਗਿਆਨੁ ਧਿਆਨੁ ਇਸਨਾਨੁ।।(1245)
      ਸੱਚ ਬੋਲੋ ਝੂਠ ਦਾ ਤਿਆਗ ਕਰੋ ਅਤੇ ਸੁਭਾਅ ਸੰਤੋਖੀ ਬਣਾਉ।ਗੁਰੂ ਦਾ ਗਿਆਨ ਹਾਸਲ ਕਰੋ।
      ਮਨਿ ਸੰਤੋਖ ਸਰਬ ਜੀਅ ਦਇਆ।।ਇਨ ਬਿਧਿ ਬਰਤ ਸੰਪੂਰਨ ਭਇਆ।।(299)
      ਸੁਭਾਅ ਸੰਤੋਖੀ ਬਣਾਉ ਸਾਰਿਆਂ ਵਿੱਚ ਪ੍ਰਮੇਸ਼ਰ ਦੀ ਜੋਤ ਦੇਖੋ।ਗੁਣਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਪੱਲੇ ਬੰਨੋ।ਸੱਸ ਸਹੁਰੇ ਨੂੰ ਮਾਤਾ ਪਿਤਾ ਸਮਝਕੇ ਦਿਲੋਂ ਉਨ੍ਹਾਂ ਦੀ ਸੇਵਾ ਕਰੋ।ਆਪਣੇ ਘਰ ਵਿੱਚ ਸ਼ਾਤੀ ਬਣਾਕੇ ਰੱਖੋ ਇਹੋ ਹੀ ਅਸਲੀ ਵਰਤ ਹੈ।ਇਹ ਵਰਤ ਕੇਵਲ ਪਤਨੀ ਹੀ ਨਹੀਂ ਪਤੀ ਵੀ ਜਰੂਰ ਰੱਖੇ।

      Respected Bhainji
      You have asked a very good question. Let me tell you here that it is written in ‘Manu SImriti’ that “In the childhood, the girl is under the control of her father and under the care of her older brothers, after marriage, she is under the control of her husband, and when the sons became younger she stays under the control of the sons. This means that keep the woman as a slave. Out of this comes the fast of Karwa Chauth. But let us understand from Gurbani:
      ਛੋਡਹਿ ਅੰਨ ਕਰਹਿ ਪਾਖੰਡ ।। ਨਾ ਸੋਹਾਗਨਿ ਨਾ ਉਹਿ ਰੰਡ।।…..
      ਅੰਨੈ ਬਿਨਾ ਨ ਹੋਇ ਸੁਕਾਲੁ।।ਤਜਿਐ ਅੰਨ ਨ ਮਿਲੈ ਗੁਪਾਲ।।(873)
      Abstaining from food, fasting is nothing but foolishness. Fasting never prolongs the life of the husband but helping the husband in every good deed, fulfilling the responsibilities of the house properly is the real love, and not telling the husband that I Fasted for your love. If fasting is to be done then both husband and wife should fast as described in Gurbani.
      ਸਚੁ ਵਰਤ ਸੰਤੋਖ ਤੀਰਥੁ ਗਿਆਨੁ ਧਿਆਨੁ ਇਸਨਾਨੁ।।(1245)
      Speak the truth, renounce falsehood and make nature content. Acquire the Guru’s wisdom.
      ਮਨਿ ਸੰਤੋਖ ਸਰਬ ਜੀਅ ਦਇਆ।।ਇਨ ਬਿਧਿ ਬਰਤ ਸੰਪੂਰਨ ਭਇਆ।।(299)
      Make nature contented, see the light of God in everyone. Embrace the virtues. Serve the mother-in-law wholeheartedly as a parent. Keep peace in your home. This is the real fast. This fast must be observed not only by the wife but also by the husband.

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    2. ਇਕ ਪੰਥ ਇਕ ਸੋਚ
      ਇਕ ਪੰਥ ਇਕ ਸੋਚ Scholar
      2021-10-04T19:58:19+00:00Added an answer on October 4, 2021 at 7:58 pm
      This answer was edited.
      KARWACHAUTH

      Ask your mother in law.which she already knows. that GOD is is the only power.That power have sent me in your home as your daughter in law.HE is the only power WHO makes SANJOG according to our karmas.We have no strength to live and die .GURU Sahibji says that No power and ritual can change this law in the whole universe. In HOLI GEETA even lord KRISHNA says the.same.

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