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Home/ Questions/Q 11829
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Asked: September 1, 20212021-09-01T11:37:41+00:00 2021-09-01T11:37:41+00:00In: Rehat Maryada

Kam- One of the 5 sins or evils & Gurdwara Etiquettes

connect2jasmeetsingh
connect2jasmeetsingh

WGKKWGKF-

Recently on social media , I came across a video where a bride & groom were seen kissing during there anand karaj ceremony . I submitted my disappointment & lack of knowledge as to how to behave in gurdwara premises . Post that I got message that prove through Gurbani/Rehat Maryada where it is written that such thing are not permisible . I could only respond with this :-

Arranged marriage is very much the norm in Sikhism. Dating is discouraged and premarital relations are forbidden by the Sikh code of conduct. Romance between couples is something which takes place after the Anand Karaj (wedding) and occurs behind closed doors.

Also related to Kam –

ਕਾਮੁ ਕ੍ਰੋਧੁ ਲੋਭੁ ਤਜਿ ਗਏ ਪਿਆਰੇ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਚਰਨੀ ਪਾਇ ॥੫॥ kaam karodh lobh taj ge piaare satigur charanee pai ||5|| Lust, anger and greed left me, O Beloved, when I fell at the Feet of the True Guru. ||5||

Need expertise , is there any thing more available either in Rehat Marayada or Gurbani which out rightly rejects this . If not , may be we need to have revised version of rehat marayada( I know everything cant be captured)

 

Gurfateh

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    4 Answers

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    1. Gulbarg Singh Basi Scholar
      2021-09-01T16:31:17+00:00Added an answer on September 1, 2021 at 4:31 pm

      There is no such direct reference in Sri Guru Granth Sahib Bani;
      Please note KAAM is not a sin by itself. it is the intent behind it and who is the partner. KAAM between mariied couple is quite permitted. Kaam outside marriage in forbidden.

      Now about Kissing in Gurduara or even Public in general.
      Currently in Sikhi society/culture kissing iin Public is not acceptable. Of course it is not permissible in Gurduara environment at all.
      There are activities which must be kept private and this is one of them. Sikhi Culture does not permit it. But as everyone knows differnt cultures have different standards and cultures change as well.
      From spirituality angle. Creator and the Guru are with you at all times, even in most private spaces. So, one cannot hide it from The Creator or the Guru.
      Once gain it is important that one obeys the rule of the society and the occasion.

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      • Amrit Pal Singh Sachdeva
        2021-09-01T16:40:58+00:00Replied to answer on September 1, 2021 at 4:40 pm

        Great Answer. The Giani Ji should call the couple before the Anand karaj and explain the rules and tell them what is forbidden.
        SGGS should be respected at all times.

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    2. Bani KAUR
      2021-09-01T14:36:04+00:00Added an answer on September 1, 2021 at 2:36 pm

      Someone has asked similar question most likely about the same couple.
      My personal opinion is that it is disrespectful especially infront of SGGS and the sangat attending the Anand Karaj.
      The Gurdwara committee needs to be more strict.

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    3. hkandola Scholar
      2021-09-01T18:46:45+00:00Added an answer on September 1, 2021 at 6:46 pm

      I believe this couple should not be admonished for what they did. They should be explained even though born in Sikh family but are completely ignorant of SIKHI. It is bad habit to show disrespect to my parents or elders, how can I show disrespect to the highest spiritual authority of Sikhs. Let us explain why not. .

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