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Home/ Questions/Q 169033
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Asked: May 17, 20232023-05-17T05:21:32+00:00 2023-05-17T05:21:32+00:00In: Sikh Culture

inter religion marraige problems

Anonymous
Anonymous

sat sri akal ji,

with waheguru ji’s blessings and bhana, I have recently got married to a Hindu boy.

things were all clear since begining that i will follow my own religion always.

but just after marraige, his mother started forcing me mangalsutra and all things required for hindu brides.

I wore it for one day as they had their kuldevta puja and all and I said no to wear it after one day.

i made it clear that i wont wear signs of other religion and i wont do pooja of anyone except waheguru ji.

my husband supports this decision and he talked to his mother so no active probelms are there however, i can sense in her behavior that she is not happy with me…but i wont compromise when it comes to religion… how can i handle thia situation ?

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    6 Answers

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    1. ਕੁਲਵਿੰਦਰ ਸਿੰਘ
      ਕੁਲਵਿੰਦਰ ਸਿੰਘ
      2023-05-17T08:07:31+00:00Added an answer on May 17, 2023 at 8:07 am

      Respected Sister, you have chosen your own path and now have to handle the situation yourself. Perhaps, you can win over your mother-in-law with your good behaviour. There doesn’t seem to be any shortcut.

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      • ਕੁਲਵਿੰਦਰ ਸਿੰਘ
        ਕੁਲਵਿੰਦਰ ਸਿੰਘ
        2023-05-17T10:22:28+00:00Replied to answer on May 17, 2023 at 10:22 am
        This answer was edited.

        Respected Sister, the undersigned is posting a small video, to bring to your and my other sisters’ notice the trauma, which Sikh girls have to face after inter-religion marriages. This has been very well depicted by Satdeep Singh in his short movie, The Blind Journey ‘, which he had made many years back. All Sikh girls need to take care before taking the plunge.

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        • pk13
          pk13
          2023-05-17T18:25:54+00:00Replied to answer on May 17, 2023 at 6:25 pm

          respected veer ji, the above video is not applicable to all the women. it’s applicable to the women who will let a man drive/control her life. in this generation, women stand equally for their individuality, for who they are, for religion and etc. Yes, no one should ever change their religion or start believing in other religion because of inter cast marraige or any other reason…. Also, veer ji, my marriage is done now. Jo hoyea guru sahebaan di Marzi naal hoyea, jive kehnde aa k ohna di marzi to Bina patta b nai Hilda.. so Instead of telling me about how bad inter cast marraige can be, you could have helped me stay focused on Sikhism and do my own karm 😊

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        • ਕਰਨੈਲ ਸਿੰਘ Karnail Singh
          ਕਰਨੈਲ ਸਿੰਘ Karnail Singh
          2023-05-17T19:43:09+00:00Replied to answer on May 17, 2023 at 7:43 pm

          respected Kulwinder Singh ji, please answer p13″ remarks: . Jo hoyea guru sahebaan di Marzi naal hoyea, jive kehnde aa k ohna di marzi to Bina patta b nai Hilda..
          question: if our decisions are done by our mind or we can blame our wrong decisions as the will of God?

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          • ਕੁਲਵਿੰਦਰ ਸਿੰਘ
            ਕੁਲਵਿੰਦਰ ਸਿੰਘ
            2023-05-18T00:57:40+00:00Replied to answer on May 18, 2023 at 12:57 am

            ਸਤਿਕਾਰ ਯੋਗ ਭੈਣ ਜੀ,
            ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖ਼ਾਲਸਾ, ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫ਼ਤਹਿ।।

            ਦਾਸ ਦੀ ਸਮਝ ਅਨੁਸਾਰ, ਸਿੱਖੀ ਵਿਚ ਇਸੇ ਜਨਮ ਦੀ ‘ਕਰਣੀ ਅਰਥਾਤ ਕਰਮ’ ਪ੍ਰਧਾਨ ਹੈ। ਗੁਰੂ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਸਿੱਖਿਆ ਦਿੰਦੇ ਹਨ:-

            ਜੇਹਾ ਬੀਜੈ ਸੋ ਲੁਣੈ ਕਰਮਾ ਸੰਦੜਾ ਖੇਤੁ ॥ (ਪੰਨਾ 134)

            ਇਹ ਸਰੀਰ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਦੇ ਕੀਤੇ ਕਰਮਾਂ ਦਾ ਖੇਤ ਹੈ, ਜੋ ਕੁਝ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਇਸ ਵਿਚ ਬੀਜਦਾ ਹੈ ਉਹੀ ਫ਼ਸਲ ਵੱਢਦਾ ਹੈ (ਜੇਹੇ ਕਰਮ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈ, ਤੇਹਾ ਫਲ ਪਾਂਦਾ ਹੈ)।

            ਅੱਗੇ ਗੁਰੂ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਦਾ ਫੁਰਮਾਨ ਹੈ:-

            ਦਦੈ ਦੋਸੁ ਨ ਦੇਊ ਕਿਸੈ ਦੋਸੁ ਕਰੰਮਾ ਆਪਣਿਆ ॥ ਜੋ ਮੈ ਕੀਆ ਸੋ ਮੈ ਪਾਇਆ ਦੋਸੁ ਨ ਦੀਜੈ ਅਵਰ ਜਨਾ ॥੨੧॥ {ਪੰਨਾ 433}

            ਅਰਥ: (ਹੇ ਮਨ! ਜੇ ਤੂੰ ਪੜ੍ਹ ਕੇ ਸਚ ਮੁਚ ਪੰਡਿਤ ਹੋ ਗਿਆ ਹੈਂ, ਤਾਂ ਇਹ ਚੇਤੇ ਰੱਖ ਕਿ) ਜਿਹੋ ਜਿਹੇ ਕੰਮ ਮੈਂ ਕਰਦਾ ਹਾਂ, ਉਹੋ ਜਿਹਾ ਫਲ ਮੈਂ ਪਾ ਲੈਂਦਾ ਹਾਂ, (ਆਪਣੇ ਕੀਤੇ ਕਰਮਾਂ ਅਨੁਸਾਰ ਆਪਣੇ ਉਤੇ ਆਏ ਦੁੱਖ ਕਲੇਸ਼ਾਂ ਬਾਰੇ) ਹੋਰ ਲੋਕਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਦੋਸ਼ ਨਹੀਂ ਦੇਣਾ ਚਾਹੀਦਾ। ਭੈੜ ਆਪਣੇ ਕਰਮਾਂ ਵਿਚ ਹੀ ਹੁੰਦਾ ਹੈ; (ਇਸ ਵਾਸਤੇ ਹੇ ਮਨ! ਇਹ ਚੇਤਾ ਰੱਖ ਕਿ) ਮੈਂ ਕਿਸੇ ਹੋਰ ਦੇ ਮੱਥੇ ਦੋਸ਼ ਨ ਮੜ੍ਹਾਂ (ਆਪਣੀ ਵਿੱਦਿਆ ਦੇ ਬਲ ਆਸਰੇ ਕਿਸੇ ਹੋਰ ਨੂੰ ਦੋਸ਼ੀ ਠਹਰਾਣ ਦੇ ਥਾਂ, ਹੇ ਮਨ! ਆਪਣੀ ਹੀ ਕਰਣੀ ਨੂੰ ਸੁਧਾਰਨ ਦੀ ਲੋੜ ਹੈ) । 21।

            ਇਸ ਲਈ ਇਹ ਕਹਿਣਾ ਕਿ ਮੇਰਾ ਵਿਆਹ ਗੁਰੂ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਦੀ ਮਰਜ਼ੀ ਨਾਲ ਹੋ ਗਿਆ, ਸ਼ਾਇਦ ਠੀਕ ਨਹੀਂ ਹੈ। ਤੁਸੀਂ ਆਪ ਇੱਕ ਫ਼ੈਸਲਾ ਲਿਆ, ਜੋ ਤੁਸੀਂ ਆਪ ਹੀ ਨਿਭਾਉਣਾ ਹੈ। ਬਾਕੀ ਜਿਥੋਂ ਤੱਕ ਵੀਡੀਓ ਪਾਉਣ ਦਾ ਸਵਾਲ ਹੈ, ਇਹ ਸਿਰਫ਼ ਤੁਹਾਡੇ ਵਾਸਤੇ ਨਹੀਂ ਸੀ। ਇਹ ਉਨ੍ਹਾਂ ਭੈਣਾਂ/ਬੱਚੀਆਂ ਨੂੰ ਜਾਗਰੂਕ ਕਰਨ ਲਈ ਸੀ ਕਿ ਉਹ ਫ਼ੈਸਲਾ ਲੈਣ ਤੋਂ ਪਹਿਲਾਂ ਸੋਚ ਲੈਣ ਕਿ ਦੂਜੇ ਧਰਮਾਂ ਦੇ ਮੁੰਡਿਆਂ ਨਾਲ ਵਿਆਹ ਕਰਵਾ ਕੇ ਕੀ ਸਮੱਸਿਆਵਾਂ ਆ ਸਕਦੀਆਂ ਹਨ। ਜ਼ਰੂਰੀ ਨਹੀਂ ਕਿ ਇਹ ਸਭ ਨੂੰ ਆਉਣ। ਨਾਲ ਹੀ ਜੇ ਸਮੱਸਿਆਵਾਂ ਆਉਂਦੀਆਂ ਹਨ ਤਾਂ ਉਨ੍ਹਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਮਾਨਸਿਕ ਤੌਰ ਤੇ ਉਨ੍ਹਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਨਜਿੱਠਣ ਲਈ ਤਿਆਰ ਰਹਿਣਾ ਚਾਹੀਦਾ ਹੈ। ਭੁੱਲ ਚੁੱਕ ਦੀ ਖਿਮਾ ਕਰਨੀ ਜੀ।

            ਆਦਰ ਸਹਿਤ,
            ਆਪ ਦਾ ਵੀਰ

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      • pk13
        pk13
        2023-05-17T18:20:24+00:00Replied to answer on May 17, 2023 at 6:20 pm

        ofcourse, thank you veer ji

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