Can someone please clarify according to Sikh Rehat Maryada: If a never-married couple runs away and wants to do Anand Karaj, should they be allowed to take 4 Pheras or just sit while Laava is recited? Also, can widows or widowers, or divorced individuals, remarry in a Gurdwara and take Pheras? Is divorce recognized in Sikhism, and can divorced people remarry someone who is never married, divorced, or widowed? Looking for clear guidance to follow the correct Sikh tradition.

Dear Brother/Sister,
Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh!

In response to your question, please click on the link below and read about Anand Sanskar (Marriage) at pages 22 to 24 of the Sikh Rehat Maryada:-

https://sgpc.net/?page_id=653

Never married couples, widows and widowers can and even divorcees can marry in Gurdwara Sahib and there is no bar/problem.

However, about divorce in Sikhism, the undersigned wants to say that in Sikhism, marriage is called ‘Anand Karaj’ and significant spiritual and religious importance is attached to this act.

It is not merely a physical and legal contract but a sacrament, a union of two souls. The spiritual goal of any Sikh is to merge his or her soul (Atma) with God (Akalpurakh) and in marriage, the couple vow to help each other, towards this goal.

With the example of a worldly marriage, performed on a material plane, between a man and a woman, the Guru Granth Sahib explains in the four ‘Laavaan’, (Pannas 773-774 of Guru Granth Sahib), as to how one can join (marry or link) with the Higher Consciousness within.

Thus, marriage, in the Sikh Way of life, is supposed to be an unbreakable Spiritual Union or Unity of two minds into one. Unity between wife and husband’s mind (i.e. thinking-Soch) provides constancy, faithfulness, dependability, reliability, loyalty, fidelity, firmness, true love, companionship or friendship, strength to endure, and resistance to disintegration of the entire family. Thus it provides stability for the entire family.

Guru Amar Daas Jee in Raag Soohee highlights this required Unity as follows: –

ਧਨ ਪਿਰੁ ਏਹਿ ਨ ਆਖੀਅਨਿ ਬਹਨਿ ਇਕਠੇ ਹੋਇ ॥ ਏਕ ਜੋਤਿ ਦੁਇ ਮੂਰਤੀ ਧਨ ਪਿਰੁ ਕਹੀਐ ਸੋਇ ॥ ॥੩॥ (ਪੰਨਾ 788)

ਅਰਥ: ਜੋ (ਸਿਰਫ਼ ਸਰੀਰਕ ਤੌਰ ਤੇ) ਰਲ ਕੇ ਬਹਿਣ ਉਹਨਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਅਸਲ ਇਸਤ੍ਰੀ ਖਸਮ ਨਹੀਂ ਆਖੀਦਾ; ਜਿਨ੍ਹਾਂ ਦੇ ਦੋਹਾਂ ਜਿਸਮਾਂ ਵਿਚ ਇੱਕੋ ਆਤਮਾ ਹੋ ਜਾਏ ਉਹ ਹੈ ਇਸਤ੍ਰੀ ਤੇ ਉਹ ਹੈ ਪਤੀ।੩।

Thus Anand Karaj is a means to learn helping each other, to attain together a balanced life of self-fulfillment, Spiritual Upliftment and Self-knowledge, leading to a purposeful life.

As per teachings of Guru Granth Sahib, the importance of Family life is that both husband and wife first become Gurmukhs themselves and live their lives, as per teachings of Guru Granth Sahib, and then try their best to ensure that their children also become Gurmukhs, so that the life of children also becomes successful. In view of this position, there is no place for divorce in Sikhism.

Those who don’t follow the teachings of Guru Granth Sahib and follow their mind are called Manmukhs. They remain stuck in material world all their lives, die spiritual death every now and then and finally waste away their valuable life.

As stated above, as per teachings of Guru Granth Sahib, there is no place of divorce in Sikhi. However, the practice of divorce is going on in the Sikh families, as per local laws.

Hope it helps. If you have any further questions, please do ask. If you find any deficiencies, please point out the same for improvement in future.

Regards,
Your Brother